Powerful, yet powerless

February 17, 2016

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved running away. Not running away from my family or going missing, just exploring my surrounding...

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved running away. Not running away from my family or going missing, just exploring my surroundings. That was possible when I was a kid and there was no danger of being kidnapped, especially not where I lived. I would go out of the house to play with my neighbors at 10am when the cartoons ended and come back home when the sun went down (and for lunch, of course).

My neighbors - two siblings - were both a couple of years younger than me so I was able to boss them around. When I was 10, we built a house. We didn't actually build it, it was just a bunch of hazelnut bushes, but we did bring everything we could find at home, including an old bench, a couple of buckets, and a board that we used for a table. We ate hazelnuts all summer. We named the house Pancake and we put together a hymn praising pancakes that we sang every time we entered.
That was my world for an entire summer.

When I was 12, I discovered a path that led me to the top of a hill. It was the hill that has been stopping me from having a view of an actual town from my house. And when I was 12, I suddenly thought about the other side of the hill. And I went there. It was exhausting because it's a terribly steep hill and I'm not very good at exercising. But when I got up, a gorgeous view suddenly opened up for me. And with it, a new perspective. Up there, with no one around, I was able to do whatever I wanted. I was able to scream, cry, sing, and most importantly, I had a view like no other. Looking at a town from such a distance made me happy, it made me feel like I was in control of everything. Powerful.

Soon, I turned 15. I went to high school to a city that I've been dreaming about for years. The feeling seems so foreign now because I know about pretty much every little corner of that city, but for a small town girl, a city was an exciting change. It was a new world.

Four years passed so quickly and suddenly it was time to go to university. And now that I'm at the center of my country, I feel really powerful, but also powerless at the same time. Powerful, because this is the most free I've ever been and this is the biggest dimension I've experienced so far. Powerless, because there are still so many dimensions for me out there and I feel like I am no one compared to the world.

Life revolves around discovering new dimensions and perspectives. You can feel powerful in your dimension, but you can learn about a bigger dimension very quickly, and when you do, the first one will make you feel powerless about the world. But the world without discovering new dimensions would be boring. Too boring to keep living in the old dimensions. So go out there.

Learn new things.


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